Who the @#$% Took My Candy?!

Gerald Williams and George Larribas in:

Who the @#$% Took My Candy?!

Gerald Williams loved candy.  He loved candy so much that nobody in the town took notice in his best friend for life, George Larribas, had recently proposed to his girlfriend, a male goat.

George was jealous of Gerald’s candy lovin’ fame.  George wanted comparable fame for his goat lovin’.  He devised a scheme so cockrockulous that he himself would not dare present it to his country club manager, who was to wed George and his goat and his Faun love-child on Tuesday.

Gerald always kept a big ass bucket o’ candy in the bed of his truck.  It was just asking to be stolen, but Gerald was so sure he had enough respekt in the town that nobody would touch it.  However, George wanted to touch it.  He wanted to touch it so badly.  He was a bad person, just like you, only he had a lust for sugar instead of blood.

George approached Gerald’s barrel of candy.  On it was printed: THIS IS MY CANDY, KEEP YO HANDS OF! Yes it said “of” instead of “off.”  Gerald was not the hottest peach in the cobbler.  This was unfortunate because George was not the hottest cobbler in the oven, so by definition, George and Gerald were arch enemies.

George, or Gerald, whichever one is not black, lifted the candy from the back of the truck and proceeded to roll it down the street.  Small children began to chase after George, asking for candy.  George would just respond, “Keep yo hands of!”  One small girl, about eight years old, looked at George and said, “You are a sack of shit!” She meant to say barrel, but whatever.  Do you honestly care?

I don’t.

George had safely made it home by the time Gerald returned to his truck.  Gerald saw that his barrel o’ candy had been jacked from his truck.

“Who the @#$% took my candy?!?!”

A clown appeared from behind a dumpster and approached Gerald.

“A penny saved keeps the clowns away!” said the clown.

“You gonna die, sucka!” yelled Gerald.

The End